Today's Wish: Good Night’s Sleep
Current Music on the Head:

ne ne long time no see!!! How’s everyone been doing?

I’ve been very, as in very moody lately, perhaps one of my reflective and recollective bouts.

Two weeks ago my bookshelf disintegrated before my eyes as I was adding another pamphlet to my other books and magazines. It gave me quite a hard time re-assembling it again. I actually had to throw out some items that seems to be just collecting dust and of no use to me. My dad even help me by suggesting tie wraps to ensure that they don’t fall to pieces like a lego castle that got godzilla-ed. Seemingly strange is that I only threw like 3-4 items and now everything looks like its spacious, what’s wrong with that?

Also within the week, i received ‘Memories of Ragnarok’ Soundtrack that I ordered due to the lowered prices and only the last few collectibles to count. Last chance to acquire the rare ‘Note Headphones’. If you’ve played Ragnarok Online before, 80% of the tracks sounds the same, the rest are originals or remixed BGM soundtracks. Not much to go from there, but probably worth waiting for the price to go down.

My rating for it is:

So, I was able to finish my BD9 Comic entry, mostly just outlines, but I was able to add some additional details on the first few pages. I cross my fingers that my first entry would appear decent and not ‘all noised-up’.  I’m totally exhausted…'

Art classes doing so-so. There’s an upcoming BAAUmeet this saturday, i’m excited about it, but what I’m not happy about its the following day is another art class, I’m expecting to be very tired by the time I return home.'

I’m not happy with the recent announcement of iRO’s premium servers to be merged as one, I feel it bodes ill to not only myself but for everyone else who will be undergoing such a transfer.  There are so many measures being taken, and I’m not one to like large changes, but it will be a fact that has to be accepted, Names will be wiped, Guilds will be destroyed, and the Economies will be sabotaged. The clock is ticking, and I want to be there as soon as I’m around when it happens. I don’t know what perils or adventures we will encounter, however, one thing’s for sure, we will need all the help we can get. Its been a wonderful adventure with all of you Loki Players out there, and I hope one day we will meet again soon.


I feel uneasiness these days, fear, pure consciousness, doubt, hatred, and of course some pain. In a span of mere days a friendship can crumble, and even with an apology, it will never be the same. I feel left out, an outcast sometimes, a renegade at best for being different from norm standards.  I do admit, i cling to people. I crave even the slightest acknowledgement that people know that I exist in this world, amounted perhaps as only a speck of dust on one person’s entire body, a fleeting moment at best. Well, I guess its a part of life, we deal with it or we learn from it, whichever the outcome will be.

Being almost anti-social in a day to day basis…now that’s a past life I can remember as clear as if it were yesterday.  I’m already wiser than I was before than not tantrum, keep silence or a talk with inner self will ever help me from this mire I feel like I’m sinking into, but I can’t help wading in it. The thought of a blank plane where everything stops around me would be comfort. Time however disagrees with me, it is absolute after all and no wrench in its way will make it stop ticking. I’m just wasting time..I need some sort of advice in what to do, something a mother would be able to answer if she were present. I miss talking about life with you...

I kind of wonder if opening oneself to an understanding stranger would be able to help. However familiarity will always plays its strengths, because that’s where one feels a bit of comfort. But what if comfort is lost from one’s ties, and begin to feel as if you’re unimportant, useless and even unneeded. Even if confidence was asserted it was swatted of like a moment. I’m beginning to think of things. Giving up? Leaving? Probably. But I can’t hide. I can’t hide forever. And waiting too long to be prepared to face the problem will most likely result in negativity.

I need of a way to assert myself back there, to tell what I want, to make a point, to make a stand. I need your guidance and wisdom, God from up above. Requesting with a sincere and contrite heart, hear my prayers, guide me to my conclusion, and most of all try to enjoy the best of this life you gave me. Amen :3

Maaan, quite a ranting I got ne..? Keep smiling, I still try.